We’ll admit that when we did
some research on this, we came to the personal conclusion that how often a couple has sex really does depend on the couple. However, experts claim that a sexless marriage consists of having sex less than 10-15 times a year and we certainly get that (who wants to have sex less than once a month?!). Meanwhile, in happy marriage, apparently most couples get it on…mmm, about once a week.
How are things going over there?
No matter if you’re doing it once or (lucky you) three to five times a week, we all can agree that sex is necessary to a healthy and lasting relationship, right? So, what do you do if you’re not getting it on at least once a week?
We’ve got a few suggestions…
Try A New Location
The awesome thing about sex is that it involves all of your senses. That’s also the challenge about it because if one of your senses are bored, it can make for a ho-hum experience.
If you can’t remember the last time you had sex outside of your bedroom, it’s been WAY too long! Surprise your partner in the shower, be a little risky and have a quickie in the backyard or book a hotel room. Who doesn’t love hotel sex?!
Have More Quickies
Speaking of quickies, these are perfect for busy couples and parents because you don’t have to set aside an hour. A good 15-minute session can be all the time in the world to reduce stress, increase energy levels and make both of you feel more connected. Quickies are also a way to make your man feel desirable, if his self-confidence is a little on the fritz.
Eat An Aphrodisiac Breakfast
If you and/or your spouse are not big breakfast eaters, this may motivate you to change your tune. Breakfast also gives you more energy and certain “breakfast foods” can increase your sex drive.
Honey contains boron which regulates estrogen and testosterone levels in the body. Coffee is a stimulant that increases the blood circulation in your body. Bananas contain bromelain which also boosts the production of testosterone and strawberries have antioxidants and phytochemicals to keep your immune system and joints strong.
When you breathe better, you orgasm better. Simple as that. Many sex experts say that the key to multiple orgasms is breathing deeply following the first orgasms so that you don’t plateau all the way out.
Why not give it a shot by meditating together for five-10 minutes before a sex session. Imagine how much "the build-up" will excite you both!
People who have a happy marriage kiss. A LOT. That’s probably not a shocker. But if the only time the two of you deeply kiss is when you’re getting ready to have sex, try and do it at other times as well. Kissing is proven to lower your blood pressure, reduce pain and even tone up your facial muscles. Kissing also triggers your brain to produce feel-good chemicals like serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin, too.
Cuddling? Please do more of it. Not so much as a lead into sex, but so both of you will feel emotionally connected to one another. Because cuddling is another activity that triggers oxytocin, it can instantly make you feel happier and less tense. And yeah, after being boo’ed up for 30 minutes or so, who knows where things could lead?
Laugh At Each Other
Another key to a happy marriage and even a great sex life? Laugh together! It increases positive endorphins in the body. It encourages you to be more positive. It also gets you to tap into the creative side of your brain. The more creative you are, the better the sex will be.
Have Some Spontaneous Dates
Dinner and a movie is so…
predictable. Spice things up a bit by doing something more spontaneous. Go on a picnic at lunch. Drop off the kids at a friend’s in the middle of the week. Go on a bed and breakfast run up the road one weekend. Sometimes just spending some surprise time alone is all that you need to get your sex life back on track.
Get In The Spoon Position
Ah. So much we could say about the spoon position! For now, we’ll give the PG-version. It’s comfortable. It’s comforting. And it’s...easy access in the middle of the night or first thing in the morning.
Couples who sleep naked at least a few times a week will probably also say that they have a happy marriage. Physically, it helps to regulate your body temperature, reduce infections in the vaginal area (because “it” is able to breathe), and it helps to keep the stress hormone cortisol down. Emotionally, the skin-to-skin contact will make you feel more safe and secure. Plus, sleeping naked is all kinds of sexy. A surefire way to get that sex rate up at your house!