The 6 Stages of the Netflix Binge

The 6 Stages of the Netflix Binge
Tumblr

It’s 7:20 AM on Sunday morning. You feel a deep sense of sadness come over your body as you slowly click “next episode” for the last time. It went so quick. What you thought would last forever, or at least for a couple of weeks, came and went in 16 hours. You’re now left wondering how you got yourself into this position, sprawled out face up on your bed, laptop melting into your stomach, empty popcorn bowl nestled in the crevice of your armpit. You think back to where it all began…yesterday at 1 o’clock in the afternoon.

1. Curiosity: The Open Door // 1 PM Saturday

All significant moments in our lives seem to start with a genuine sense of wonder. “I hear people are really liking Stranger Things… I mean MAYBE it’ll be my new show. I have to see what it’s all about first.” You haven’t felt a really deep connection to a show since your soul fulfilling love for Breaking Bad in 2012, but you hear this is the show you were destined to watch. Ever hear of ‘curiosity killed the cat?’ Well, curiosity may just kill your productivity for the next 18-72 hours.

2. Intrigue: The Hook // 1:55 PM Saturday Afternoon

It’s a simple explanation. “Wow! A pilot that didn’t bore or confuse me to death. Wow! Is it possible that a show could be so interesting just one episode in? Wow! There are SO many different ways this plot line could divulge. OMG! These actors are actually REALLY talented. Okay. Fine. I’ll watch another episode.” 

3. Denial: The Rose-Colored Glasses // 6PM Saturday Evening

Yes, you realize you’ve watched 5 episodes in a row. Doesn’t everyone need a break from their freaking life? You know you can stop this madness at any moment, after all you have 23 pounds of laundry to do and 4 phone calls to make. “After this next one I will turn this off. Can’t end today with a cliff hanger like that.”

4. Dependence: The Toxic Relationship // 10 PM Saturday Night

Addiction would be a harsh word for this kind of dependence. Your binge has turned into more of a relationship… a toxic relationship. This is the kind of relationship where you give everything for nothing in return. “I literally feel like I’m best friends with the characters on this show.” Just so you are aware, the characters really don’t know you exist. They don’t. Honestly. Not at all.

5. Despair: The Revolving Door with No Exit // 5 AM Sunday Morning

It’s never a healthy thing to see the sun coming up, having wasted your night staring at a screen with a bit of drool coming out of your mouth. Eventually you pass that thin line between sanity and insanity and quickly make the decision to press on. “Well, I’ve already come this far… might as well finish up strong and watch the whole season.”

6. Emptiness: The Empty Glass // 8:20 Sunday Morning

All good *cough* and bad things come to an end. Every season and series has its finale. It’s life after that may seem pale and meaningless. Relationships will never be as scripted and day-to-day as action packed. No matter how empty you feel, just remember that there is always another show out there for you.